Successful or Signficant?
I’m taking a break… taking 8 days to clear my head and recenter myself. The past two months have been rather busy… a good busy, but old habits started creeping in. I noticed myself waking up earlier and earlier to clear out my emails before the sun came up. I was working in the evenings and every weekend. I started saying no to my son when he wanted to go to the park, wanted to go for a walk, or play trains. I have said at least 1,000 times in the last 2 months, “Mommy just needs to send a few emails, sweetie.” Or, “I need to work for a few hours today, but I promise to spend time with you tomorrow.” Uhhhh… that sucks even writing that, let alone having to have said it and watching his facial expression change to a look of pure disappointment. Those conversations happened after dinners and on weekends. That time should be spent with my son. And my husband.
Yes, I run a company. Yes, some days require more work than others. BUT I will not repeat past mistakes. I made so much progress in my life and relationships in April, May, and June. Our business is growing again. We’ve hired two new team members who are already soaring in their roles. We have added three new clients since July and renewed several others. Business is good and life can still be good too.
I made a commitment to my family that I would not be the CEO who leaves them in the dust (again). Yes, they are an amazing support to me and my business dreams, but that doesn’t mean it’s one or the other, and I have lost sight of that in the past. But I will not lose sight of it in the future.
My husband was my dream before my company. I prayed for him over and over again. And then we dreamed about my son. God was so faithful in giving me both of them. My high-energy work ethic has a way of consuming my life and I am choosing to not let that happen again.
I believe that as women, we can have it all. We can be wives, mothers, and CEOs, or whatever profession we choose. But to achieve it, we have to choose it, daily. Life is busy and can be stressful. But we were given the ability to choose. And I choose it all.
I’ve also learned that I can lose any or all of it in an instance. Two friends of mine lost their husbands in the past year. It’s been a challenge watching them navigate their grief and not knowing how to step up and be the right friend for them.
I believe God gave me this business too. I dreamed about being an entrepreneur again and running a company - but I was scared to death to take on the risk and subject my family to the highs and lows of entrepreneurship.
I’m not a stranger to myself. I know when I can overdo it.
But I have to ask myself, am I successful or significant? What life am I living? I am taking this week to evaluate my life… all of it.
As you may have seen on my Instagram this past weekend, I dove into the latest Magnolia journal. My heart swells up when I read about Joanna Gaines and her lifestyle with raising her kids and running her company… while living on a farm. I am sure she has her tough days, but she lives her life so eloquently and centered. I know she loves Jesus too and has a strong commitment to faith and family first.
I have taken the “successful” route for years. Just look at my track record, yayyyyy… I have proven time and time again that I can be successful in a lot of things - but am I significant? Am I furthering the Kingdom of God? I’d like to think that I am, but I am not sure I am always walking the path that God created for me. I stray. I create my own paths sometimes.
He is so faithful. He pulls me back. Sometimes, it’s graceful and subtle. Sometimes it’s a massive interruption in my life, But I love Him for it. He is faithful to me and I am faithful to Him and the life he created for me.
So now, here I am. On Day 1 of my 8-day break.
Time to pray and seek the Lord and determine my path forward.
I will be significant. Can I also be successful? Sure. I believe so. But I will be significant. I will make an impact and leave a legacy. I am focused and committed to serving others and being the light.
Faith before family. Family before entrepreneurship.
I can still be significant and successful in that order.