Make God Famous
Last month, I read Lisa Bevere’s book, Without Rival. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching since the pandemic shut-down and have been connecting deeper to my God-given purpose. This book was SCREAMING to me while I read it. Some pages had so much relevant content on them, I read them each a dozen times. I also took pages of notes on what stood out most to me and what I was hearing God say to me while I absorbed the words. One part of the book talked about not only pursuing God but also making Him famous. Those words gave me chills.
For so many years, I loved boasting about my success, because I had a void to fill inside of me. I grew up believing I wasn’t good enough and it felt so good to be able to share stories about how well I had done in my professional life. Still, I love telling stories about how I became a #1 rep. I get extremely passionate when I share everything I did, every day, to be #1. But I always took credit for it. I never gave God the glory for my success.
That hit me hard. That day, I made a commitment to myself and to the Lord that everyone would know who and what made me successful. Making God Famous is my new mission. I could have never accomplished what I did without Him and I was blind to see it for a long time.
I remember back in my early childhood, as the youngest of 4 children, I often felt like my parents were so busy running their performing arts school, that I was raised by my older siblings. I fought for my parents’ attention. I acted out, but rarely got caught. My brother and I were close in age, and I often acted out by doing something mischievous and then framing him for it. I feel terrible for being so mean to my brother for so many years, but as I look back, I realize when children act a certain way, there are multiple factors that feed their behaviors.
Bottom-line? I struggled. I fought for attention in the wrong ways. I was either misbehaving or I was over-achieving. My pendulum of behavior had wide swings. When my mom was drinking or in a raging mood, I often hid quiet and tried to stay out of the way. Being raised this way caused me to unconsciously believe in performance-based love. I didn’t feel unconditional love. I always had to do something to be acknowledged, recognized, or feel a glimpse of love.
As I grew up, I found myself addicted to praise and recognition. I got a 4.2 GPA in high school while working full-time at the grocery store, supporting myself, and excelling in dance, both in the studio and on my high school POMS squad. As I began working in a corporate environment, recognition was easy to receive, as long as I always outperformed everyone else and rose to the top.
My first 5 years in corporate America caused the worst addiction I faced in my adult life. I became a monster because I was so addicted to receiving awards and recognition, that I steamrolled everyone to climb to the top. Nothing was ever good enough. In fact, in my first sales year, my quota was $150k. I sold $758k, which was more than rep #2 and rep #3, combined. I just couldn’t stop. I was addicted to success. I was over-worked and I wasn’t a nice person. I gossiped. I swore. I was “one of the boys”. I wanted the attention. I was addicted to the attention. I found myself on a mission to make up for not being loved during the previous 22 years of my life.
For the first time, I felt like I had found the most satisfying lifestyle. I performed, I won, and then I was recognized. Unfortunately, this was an awful way to live my life.
Thankfully, I hit rock bottom at age 28 and God saved me. It took nearly 2 years for me to truly start accepting His unconditional love and realizing that performance-based love was a dangerous type of love and it was time for me to let it go. It took me several more years to learn to accept love from others… and it’s something I still struggle with outside my immediate family of my husband and son.
So now I am saying it out loud and publicly. God was the reason for my success because He made me this way. He gave me these God-given talents. The sales profession has always been easy for me. My journey was not by chance. He planned out my life far before I started to live it. This is my story. This is my journey. And now, I will make sure He is known and the credit goes to Him.
I am forever grateful for the hard lessons I learned growing up that shaped me into who I am as a professional career woman, and for the success that gave me the platform I have now so that thousands of people can hear the beautiful Truth. God saved me.
It took me years to learn how to accept love. Good love. The way my husband and my son love me. The way that God loves me. Learning how to love others as God loves me has been the most healing gift I could ask for.
My heart was hard. I preferred to cut and run when someone hurt me. I have done a lot of running. I am so thankful to be rooted in Truth now and experience REAL love.
Let’s make God famous. He is so good. He loves us so much.